How to be a complete Bastard is an amazing game. Not for the graphics nor for the sound nor the speed of play and the unusual split screen set-up, but for the fantastic anti-social game play. With the goal of making yourself the most unpleasant individual to walk the planet and really annoy everyone at a party you've crashed by releasing a host of yobbery and distasteful bodily functions on them, you can relate to this from your teenage years, I'm sure. Or maybe it's a dream scenario to play out at your mother-in-law's cocktail party.
..without the other half on your back!
If you like the Bottom TV series with Ade Edmunson and Rick Mayall (the game is based on an Ade Edmunson book) you'll love this chance to do it all yourself without fear of reprisal. It's a basic adventure game that won't tax your brain and will not get you hooked for hours at a time...but will give you a juvenile release for half an hour of messy, smelly, drunken fun.
The aim of the game is to search the 80's party, pulling the house apart and sticking your nose in everyone else's business to find stuff to use in a whole manner of naughtiness and be a complete bastard to the other guests so that
they leave. Key to it is getting drunk from the endless supply of booze in the fridge and sobering up with coffee. Use the food too and you'll be equipped with a host of disgusting bodily functions. You have 4 meters around the screen that need to be built up in order to get the most out of your "talents". These are the Drunkometer, Weeometer, Fartometer and the Smellometer and do exactly what you'd expect. Use these to great effect along with the items you find to complete tasks. Some of these tasks can only be done when drunk and others can only be done when sober.
This game is a hoot and a howl. Sometimes it will frustrate you (and it has one very clever but insanely annoying trick up it's sleeve, but I won't spoil that, you can find it our yourself) and other times it will make you laugh so much you may leak a bit of wee. this is not the most addictive game in the world, well not after the first 20 mins or playing time, but it will make you want to come back for some more on the odd occasion. Take it seriously and you'll not enjoy it but take it for a bit of a laugh every now and then and you'll love being the ultimate complete bastard.
